Well, here's the post, late and probably full of things no one wants to read. Oh well.
Life has me really down lately, for a lot of uninteresting reasons. Family stuff. Health stuff. Work stuff. Other boring adult-y things that don't make good blog fodder. I will summarize with this little list: 1) a close family member has recently received a frightening medical diagnosis, and it has dramatically changed our day-to-day lives, 2) we were the victim of a crime this past week, and that alone has caused a lot of anxiety, 3) I have been very ill with a high fever, and 4) I am in the process of reorganizing my relationship with my employer, and it is causing me stress and self-doubt. Also, I would never consider this something "negative," but I have borne a huge amount of solo parenting responsibility over the past few weeks. That is unlikely to change in the near future.
I am questioning my ability to stay committed to running through all of these things. I have no races scheduled. All of this is very depressing to me. Doubly so when I consider how weak and rundown I feel after a week with the flu.
Enough. Here are the (nonexistent) workouts.
Monday - 5.26 @ 8:36 around one of my favorite downtown loops. Typing this seems laughable to me now. Even today, one week later, I would probably find it impossible to repeat this run at this pace.
Tuesday and Wednesday - too sick to move from the couch/bed for anything other than necessary parenting activities.
Thursday - an hour long yoga class that felt like a 20-mile run
Friday - an hour-long yoga class that felt marginally better
Saturday - finally feeling a bit better, but the track club run was cancelled so I didn't do anything.
Sunday - 8 @ 9:25 on the course for the Mercedes Marathon. The track club was hosting a 14-mile course preview, and I showed up for the social aspect. I felt decent enough to run with the 9:30 pace group, so I did most of the run with them. By mile 7, I was feeling so winded and tired, I just headed home. That's the beauty of living downtown, I guess.
Now it's Monday and I'll admit I wasn't able to fit a run in today, either. I had some family stuff to take care of, I had to care for my son, and I couldn't even fit in a trip to the gym (where there is childcare) without disrupting his schedule. I also had work deadlines to make, which....UGHHHH! To give you an example of how crazy this makes me, I literally had one of my engineers come OVER TO MY HOME to finalize a contract while my son napped. We were whispering in the kitchen. Not even kidding right now.
I don't know how I am going to make this stuff work, and I am going to be parenting alone again several days this week. I suppose I could get a sitter, but that seems very selfish for something like a recreational running habit. I'll decide.
Of course, it is my intent to blog my "running life" through the ups and downs. I blogged through my spring injury last year, and I will continue to blog through this mess. I know I will come out on the other side. After all, fitness is a lifetime undertaking, right? There have been episodes in my life where I have spent months at a time without any deliberate exercise. And thus far, they have not managed to make me unhappy or out of shape.
Here's to a better month in February!